


Silence

by Aamu16



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt Tony, I'm Sorry, Not Beta Read, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Tony Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-30
Updated: 2018-04-30
Packaged: 2019-04-30 05:23:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14489730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aamu16/pseuds/Aamu16
Summary: Tony hated silence, but just this once it would be his ally.





	Silence

**Author's Note:**

> I suddenly remembered that, in fact, people usually go quietly, like flowers. So I wanted to do something like this.

But maybe, Tony hated the words which resonated through it even more; an eternal litany of _I don’t feel so good_ , _Mr. Stark_ and _Please, I don’t want to go, please_. Or maybe it was what he never got to say.

_I love you, I love you, I love you, IloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyou…_

Tony never told Peter that he loved him, Tony didn’t even manage to give him a proper goodbye. Maybe Tony didn’t realize that he already had a son, that his name wasn’t Morgan but Peter, sweet, naïve, trusting Peter; Tony never knew what he had done to deserve such a cinnamon roll but was glad he had… until he figured up that it was just as the rest of the good people that had managed to gather around him, Jin-sen? Dead —in order to save him—, Bruce? Disappeared —‘til less than a day ago—, Steve? Betrayed him —for his dear past—, Pepper? Surely turned to dust as half humanity—with his luck he wouldn’t be surprised—, Peter? Dead in his arms, lasting so very long, enough to let him feel fear enough to beg for a salvation that Tony couldn’t deliver.

The blue woman had been gone for a while now, searching something, maybe she wanted to leave him behind —that was just fine by him, really—.

Tony couldn’t hear her, in fact, he couldn’t hear anything else than static, white noise in the background. That was good, a rest was given to him by the shock he was going through… soon he would start to hear them, the voices of the people he hadn’t manage to save, Strange’s voice trading the Time Stone for his ~~insignificant, stupid, unimportant, _unworthy_~~ life.

“Get up.” The blue woman said. “Your life is worth an Infinity Stone and you’re going to prove yourself worthy.” Tony had always hated orders, but he got up, as if on auto-pilot; tears were falling from his eyes, he knew because he always got this burning feeling on his skin when he did, as if they were made of molten metal or fire —or whisky maybe, he had suggested to F.R.Y.D.A.Y. once when the nightmares were too much and he had gotten drunk ‘til he blacked out—.

Tony passed her and went to Star Lord’s Milano, got into it and waited for her. He wasn’t sure of how to pilot that thing and he damn sure wasn’t about to try and understand it —he let that coping mechanism for later when the nightmares and voices caught up to him and he twinkled around his workshop waiting for exhaustion to grant him a dreamless sleep—.

“Who’s Gamora?” Tony asked again, as that idiot of Star-Lord never answered him. The woman glared at him.

“My sister.”

“Thanos said ‘his Gamora’.” The view would have been pretty wasn’t for the gaping void in the chest. “Are you his daughters?”

“Adoptive.” She hissed through gritted teeth, and if he wasn’t so done he would back off at her tone.

“What a shitty father.” The woman barked a bitter laugh, just one, she was rage and grief and fire. “What are you going to do?”

“I’m going to get revenge.”

“Ah, so are going to avenge her.” Tony mumbled and then there was something inside his head that light, like a little single match, desperate to take root.

A little voice that started at the back of his head, ‘Ah, so it’s already starting.’ Tony thought, except that it sounded like Loki. A memory flashed behind his eyes as a film recording, from New York, so many years ago —it felt like a lifetime, an eternity, an age ago—.

_If we can’t protect the Earth, you can be damn well sure we’ll avenge it._

“Peter, Stephen, Pepper, Rhodey, Happy, Vision, Jarvis, Harley, May, Christine, Bruce, _Steve_.”

“Those are the people you will avenge?”

“Yes.” Tony answered her question. “Even if I have to trade my soul to the devil I will avenge them all, and after that, I’m going to fix things. That’s what I do after all.”

_The Mechanic fixes things. That’s what they do._

Tony has fixed so many things, so many times that what is one more time? ‘til then the silence will be his ally, ‘til then the silence of Death will quiet all the voices that want to scream at him for not having done more, better.

Still, the nightmares and their images haunt his dreams; which a pretty terrifying thing on its own.


End file.
